| What the f---?! |
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| Written by Chris | |||
| Sunday, 21 September 2008 19:26 | |||
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Chris: *wakes up sleepily* Uuh... what time is it? Bromf: It's 10 pm - you've been asleep all this time and you STILL haven't given me that article I wanted. WHAT?! Bah, I've missed a whole day. Okay, let's hear the worst. What am I writing an article about? Sky Swallower, remember? You've GOT to be f--. *cough* I mean... ooh! I like that card. Alright, I'll begin. Simic Sky Swallower is a... You know what I mean. Sky Swallower - not Simic Sky Swallower. Damn. You are kidding, right? No. Get on with it. Bromf is so mean! What did I do to deserve this? Seriously. Oh alright, apart from the time with the chair and the low beam. Look, I was facing the other way, okay? I didn't see that, I'd have helped if I did. Sheesh. Look, there wasn't THAT much blood. And anyway, I said sorry. And yes, I know I haven't done anything for a while. But really... Whatever. Sky Swallower is an awful card. Okay, that's understating it a little. Sky Swallower is one of the worst cards in history, ever. Does it have a use? Short answer: No. Long answer: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... (the long answer is actually longer than that, but to stop the page from frustratingly elongating itself, I will not put it here. Okay, so let's look more objectively at it. It costs 5 mana: ![[3]](/media/mana/3_mana.gif) ![[U]](/media/mana/U_mana.gif) , and is an 8/8 creature. Pretty neat? Well, not exactly. The catch, is that you have to trade everything with your opponent. All permanents, tokens as well, enchantments attached to them... everything. Clearly there are several problems here:- You have no easy way of getting back the things you lost. - You will probably leave your opponent on at least 5 (if they're stupid) and probably 10 or more lands. Perfect for chucking down some unexpected damage using some big card. - You've got to finish off the game in one turn if you want to survive. - If it gets killed, you're dead. So how on earth are you going to use this card to your advantage? Just some thoughts: - Decks that utilize Flash to bring in this creature in your opponent's discard phase, gets them down to less than 8 life somehow, then ruins him/her. - Decks that reveal your opponent's hand. - Decks that rely on giving your opponent your stuff.They're just random ideas at the moment, but given time I can possibly bring this into fruition. A terrible deck, perhaps, but maybe playable. Go on then. Oh you've GOT to be kidding... FINE. I'll make your stupid deck. And it will be based on Sky Swallower, but it will need support. But it'll have to wait until tomorrow - yes, that's tomorrow. I'm not coming up with a new deck that quickly. And it may contain some non-standard stuff.
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| Last Updated ( Sunday, 21 September 2008 21:43 ) |